Yes. Emphatically I say, YES! …and…

And built into that legislation should be support for parents and families. Support that will increase the social-emotional skill sets of parents. Support that will decrease institutional racism, discrimination, and other family stressors such as low and unequal wages, inaccessible healthcare, and exorbitant childcare costs. Why do we spank children? What are the costs for the child and the family? But I was spanked, and I turned out fine, right? 

Punisher ideologies

What is at the root of spanking? Is it Fear? Power? Status? Control? A combination of those? I often find myself dancing around conservative Christian social media sites and the number one answer given from that demographic comes from the Bible, or as they would say, “the Word of God”. Without variation, Proverbs 13:24 will be quoted, “Those who spare the rod hate their children, but those who love them are diligent to discipline them.” This is often improperly paraphrased as, “Spare the rod, spoil the child.” The particularly well-versed conservative Christian will also cite Proverbs 22:13, “Folly is bound up in the heart of the boy, but the rod of discipline drives it far away.” We could dig into the actual context of these verses and talk about how the shepherd’s rod was a tool used to guide their sheep and not beat them, but I’m not a fan of proof-texting, or defending, individual verses of the Bible. I believe the big picture, and over-arching themes of the Bible, is where the wisdom is to be gleaned. But this takes dedication and study. It’s not a stretch to think that an over-arching theme of the Bible is that of a vengeful, punisher God. Time and time again, the Bible seems to tell stories of God destroying and punishing the disobedient. It is important to recognize that Biblical stories are stories of an ancient people trying to understand and explain their universe. When they won, it was because God favored them; when they lost it was because they had disobeyed God, and their trials must therefore be the punishment of God. 

Punisher ideologies are also prevalent in the American prison system. I will be giving attention to American incarceration in future postings, but it is no secret that punishment is one of the primary goals of the American prison system. Sadly, this punisher mentality trickles down to our families, and our children’s rear-ends. 

Lazy or Ignorant parenting

Some parents know there are other ways to guide children’s behaviors but still choose the “easy” path of spanking. It’s quick, and it usually leads to submissive compliance. The fear, guilt, and shame of being perceived as failing parents often leads to these “quick and easy” methods of forcing submissive compliance. Guiding and coaching our children through life, without hitting them, requires social emotional intelligence on behalf of the parents, and learning social emotional skills requires work and diligence. It wasn’t until the last 10-15 years, that social emotional skills started to show up on the radar of things we should be learning. Some parents, and school boards, are still refusing to acknowledge it as something of importance, calling it “woke”. 

Some parents just don’t know any other way. They were modeled spanking, and their parents before them were modeled spanking. Heck, teachers had paddles in schools until the 1980’s and 90’s. The state of Pennsylvania held out until 2005 before they put legislation in the books to prohibit spanking in schools. For many parents, historical norms have taught them that beating someone into submission works. But it does not. It, in fact, causes psychological damage to both the person being hit and to the person doing the hitting. 

What does spanking do to the child?

Modern research shows us that spanking children leads to Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE). Humans, as a species, are only allowed so many ACEs before significant childhood trauma develops. For a child, being hit by their “protector” adds up ACEs exponentially. The child’s brain struggles to comprehend the difference between a “swat to the butt” and a “full on beating” when it comes to a trusted caregiver causing them pain and fear. The child isn’t the only casualty when the parent resorts to violence as a method of discipline. The neural networks of the parent must reconfigure the neural pathways to make it acceptable to harm their own offspring. The Bible refers to this as “hardening of the heart”. Siblings are also affected as they learn to look the other way, and cower out of sight, when bad things are happening, lest they become the target of the wrath. Spanking has profound effects, negative effects, on all members of the family and household in which it happens.

“But I was spanked, and I turned out fine.”

You didn’t, because you think that hitting children is okay, and that’s not fine. I would bet that with a little digging we could uncover other evidence of trauma in your life tracing back to your childhood spankings. To my knowledge, there is no peer-reviewed research to show that corporeal punishment is an effective method of managing behavioral problems. On the other hand, the evidence against corporeal punishment that has been published in the last 20-30 years is astonishing, and should cause us all to pause and reconsider the methods we are using. 

“But making laws against parenting will infringe on my rights to parent as I see fit!” 

Yep, and because of the rampant punisher ideologies that are so prevalent in American society, I believe that the United States needs to take legislative action to make spanking a child illegal.